He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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