There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize