so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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