I want to make a zoo with you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
