How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
