So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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