So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
