I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
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He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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