ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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