worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
