you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
