I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
