she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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