i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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