guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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