U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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