I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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