a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
