And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize