I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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