The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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