And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
