Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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