Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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