In the future we'll all be gay
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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