You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
