Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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