so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
