you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
