After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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