so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
