We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
