After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
