Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
