she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
