Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
