dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
