i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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