shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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