I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.