she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize