He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
