i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
