Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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