Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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