I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
