I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
