pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
