just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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