we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
