I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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