Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
