that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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