is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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