I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize