I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
