When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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