So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
