ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
this hospital has no fireball
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i now understand why vodka
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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