he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?