I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
