Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
