I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize