In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
