I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
