Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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