i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
